is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
