you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
