either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
