I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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