Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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