Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
