Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
