so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
