I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
