i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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