did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
