Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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