In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
