you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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