So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
