Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
