Duck Duck Cougar?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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