Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
