you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
