I look better un-naked...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
