i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
