If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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