I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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