i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
