Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
