obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There r osticjed everywhere
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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