we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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