party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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