does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
