Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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