I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
