problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
