i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
