I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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