yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
