Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
