what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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