i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
