I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
