i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
