Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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