he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
