Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
