we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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