I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
