Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
