my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
