if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
