Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
