I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
