M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
