if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
