oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
