Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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