so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
