is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
