found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
