come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
