My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
