dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
