not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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