How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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